Dr. Hofrath

Published On: November 30, 2022

We often live our life as if the grass is always greener on the other side. We attach ourselves to people, places, and material objects. We attach ourselves to the illusive ideology of perfection because we feel we NEED to be perfect to be accepted by others, which we falsely believe will make us happy, when in truth neither is true.

Acceptance and happiness reside deep within ALL of us right now, in this moment, if we would just allow our true nature to blossom, and unfold naturally, without trying to control, or manipulate every move. True the external stuff can offer certain freedoms, however, often at a steep price, and at the expense of our soul. Rarely does the external stuff manifest into lasting joy, excitement, or real happiness.

The want of stuff does, however, fuel even more desire, even more unrealistic expectations, even greater projection of the unwanted, and even more self-loathing projected onto our despised shadow, which resides deep within all of us.

Then fear, shame and resentment begin to surface, and fuel the fires of insecure projection. We project more of our emotional “stuff” onto others, so we can feel a little better about ourselves, even if just for a moment. When that stops working, we quickly turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, television, food, criticism of others, embellishment, entitlement, belittling of others, anything to make us feel a little better about ourselves again.

The problem is that once again we are chasing our tail. When all we really must do is take pause, stop, and become more aware of the truth. We begin to grasp the idea that we don’t want the tail. We never did want the tail, which then allows us to begin focusing on what it is we do want and will bring us unbelievable joy in this moment! Often it is the simplistic of things. A smile from a stranger! A special moment with a baby, niece, or grandson! A hug from a loved one! A lover, or friends, kind touch! A playful moment with a beloved pet! A gorgeous sunset, or even a brief glimpse at all the stars on a clear night. All these moments add up to hours, days, weeks, months, and years of excitement, bliss, and joy!

At some point, if we truly desire to live an authentic, vibrant life, we must get honest with our self? We must ask the potentially, poignant questions we have spent so much of our time and energy avoiding. Are we experiencing excitement in our life, or is it really anxiety disguised as an adrenalin rush? People who are perpetually in “busyness mode” often think “oh yes this excites me” when in fact they are running away from their excitement. What they are really feeling is the addiction to the adrenaline rush of hyper-reactivity and extreme anxiety, which masquerade as excitement.

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