Letting go of Attachment, Expectations, Projections and Limiting Belief Patterns
The universe responds to that which we manifest if it is in alignment with our greater good. If it is not in alignment with our greatest good the universe will hold “it” back. In this way we can never make the wrong decision. We never have to fear failure, or success, when we follow our excitement. The law of attraction only provides that which is in our best interest! By the same token we have to expand our conscious awareness enough to be accepting of that which we never thought possible. Conversely, we have to trust that if we do not get what we think we want, in the way we think we want it; this want was never in our best interest. The challenge most of us face is that we never slow down enough, or long enough, to really get present to our truth. We are like a dog chasing its tail. Always thinking one day, one day, I will catch that tail.
In modern terms that tail could be status, materialism, a new relationship, a promotion, the new car, house or bigger bank account. Whatever desire our ego-based consciousness tells us will finally make us happy. So many of us miss living the unlived life because we miss the moments. We are too attached to living our life in the past, or the future, due to others and our own expectations and projections of who we should become, and all based on limiting belief patterns of who we where told we should be and do. We miss the most precious and beautiful moments of life, the most important moments, the moments that make us feel vibrant and alive, because we simply are not present in those moments!
We spend way too much time dwelling on the past and/ or worrying about the future. What a waste of energy and time. Logically, we know we can’t change the past. Logically we know the future has not presented itself yet. However, we still live in these two false realties. Does this tell you anything about logic and reason? We can only learn from the past, and we do not know what the future holds. So from a logical perspective why then do we worry about something that hasn’t happened yet? It is because our ego-based consciousness lies to us over a hundred times a day and we listen, which is another topic in need of discussion. Why does our own brain lie to us and where does our truth live and how does it arise.
Often, we sabotage our lives because we think way too small. We rarely just allow our life to unfold through spontaneous excitement. We forsake a much larger life out of fear of the unknown. What if the unknown was amazing beyond our wildest dreams? What if we are missing an amazing life because we fear the big bad wolf that has never even shown up at our door? Why do we fear the unknown? Why can’t we embrace the unknown? In simple terms because we where taught to live in fear of that which we do not know. Hence fear governs most of our lives. We miss the whole point of life when we live in fear and perpetually chase our tail. Once we get what we think we want, which often turns out not to be what we REALLYwant, or it is not good enough to satisfy our voracious wants or our need for more, then we are off to the races again for another round of ‘rat on a wheel’ and ‘chase our tail’.
We often live our life as if the grass is always greener on the other side, but we rarely ask ourselves the other side of what? We attach ourselves to beliefs, people and material objects without asking the WHY questions. We attach ourselves to an ever-illusive ideology of perfection because we feel we NEED to be perfect in order to be accepted by others and falsely believe that their acceptance is what we want and is what will make us happy. Neither is based on truth, or is true. Acceptance and happiness reside deep within each and every one of us. Happiness does not reside in the external. The external will never, ever, ever, make us truly happy. External happiness is always fleeting because the external changes moment-by-moment. Internal happiness is the only real truth that is lasting because it is of us, and is based on our asking of the WHY questions.
We earn true happiness through inquiry, which often involves self-imposed pain and suffering. No one can take this happiness away from us unless we choose to give it away. I say self-imposed pain and suffering because often we move into self-inquiry kicking and screaming. We rarely move into self-inquiry voluntarily. Trauma, crisis and life altering events propel us into the unknown world of self-inquiry. We begin searching for answers to relieve us of the excruciating pain deep within us. What resides in the unconscious will remain so until such time as it rises to the conscious realm. Our fear of discovering our true self and of self-inquiry is the root of most unhappiness. We say we want to be happy, but we don’t ask the WHY questions underneath this ideology. It is not happiness we want! It is love and connection that we want, which leads us to true happiness. This true happiness resides in the unlived life.
We search for happiness in all the wrong places, through all the wrong people and through all the wrong ideological belief systems. They are wrong because they are not of us, and they are not based on our truth. We failed to ask the WHY questions. The fact is happiness lives within all of us right now, in this moment, if we could just be still enough to listen to our inner voice and turn the lens inward for a brief moment. Instead we often unconsciously end up playing ‘rat on a wheel’ and ‘chase your tail’ because it is what we know. It is comfortable and easier than actually asking ourselves the WHY questions.
While it is true the external stuff can offer certain freedoms, it often does so at a high price, unless we are prepared to use those freedoms for higher consciousness and the greater good. Rarely does the entire external stuff manifest into anything resembling lasting joy, excitement or happiness. However, the want of external desires does fuel even more desire, even more unrealistic expectations and even greater projection through the feared and despised shadow that resides deep within all of us. This is the fuel that prompts us to continue to project our ’emotional stuff’ onto others, and our children, so we can feel a little better about ourselves, even if just for a brief moment. When the projection stops working we quickly turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, television, food, criticism of others, embellishment, entitlement, belittling of others, anything to make us feel better about ourselves again.
The problem is that once again we are ‘chasing our tail’ when all we really have to do is pause and listen to our inner voice. In doing so we move closer to truth. Often it is this awareness that leads us to realize we really don’t want our tail, and never did. We begin to focus on what in this moment would bring us the greatest joy. Often this joy arises through the simple things in life. A smile from a stranger, holding a baby in our arms, giving or receiving a hug from a loved one, a friends touch, a playful moment with a pet, a gorgeous sunset or even a brief glimpse at the stars on a clear night. All these moments add up to days, weeks, months, and years of excitement, bliss and joy!
At some point we must begin to move into honesty with our self? Are we actually experiencing excitement or is it really anxiety disguised as an adrenalin rush? We often end up running away from our excitement through the choice to follow something out of anxiety because we are so addicted to the adrenalin rush. We were all born with an inherent knowing of the difference between when we are being honest with ourselves and when we are not. We know the difference because we can FEEL the difference in our body! However, over time we forget. We become so de-conditioned and de-sensitized to connecting with our body, that we often miss these subtle bodily sensations. Fear, anxiety, and excitement are all the same energy! It is how we perceive this energy that labels it in our conscious mind.
Energy is experienced through our body as a series of sensations. These subtle sensations arise through the wisdom of the body and show up as a ‘felt sense’, which we in turn consciously perceive as an emotion, be it fear or joy. When energy flows organically through new, more aligned belief systems we can actually feel energy as excitement! When energy flows through old, misaligned belief systems we feel fear, because we are out of harmony with our truth. Our body feels fear to get our attention. It is the body’s way of informing us that something is not okay. We often feel fear because we are running our energy through old belief systems. These old belief systems are just definitions of what we have come to believe as the truth regarding who we think we are when in fact we are just out of alignment with our true nature.
The first step towards self alignment, truth and happiness is to begin to move out of our old limiting belief systems, all the erroneous definitions of who we think we are, and begin to ask the WHY questions. If we want our life to change we have to be the change! We cannot think ourselves into right acting! We have to act ourselves into right thinking! We do this through exploration and inquiry into the ideology of who we think we are. As we start to shed our old belief systems, our relationships and our life circumstances become more synergistic, fun and playful.
When we act on the things that excite us, and do them to the best of your ability before anything else, our life automatically begins to self-balance and self-align around all the things that truly excite us and make us feel happy inside. Often we will find that whatever we don’t ‘do’ in a day, because we chose to follow our excitement, didn’t need ‘doing’ anyway! We often ‘do’ because we feel like we are not good enough as we are. In doing so we end up running from our true self, instead of being still and listening to our true wants and needs, which is how we move into alignment with our true self.
When we live our life in this way, our life organically self-balances and self-aligns. All the circumstances that need to become more aligned will begin to arise into consciousness and appear in our life with minimal effort. Life begins to fill us up, instead of weighing us down. Everything from an experiential perspective will require less effort and we begin to feel more synchronized. We actually begin to live in our calling and purpose.
When we surrender, let go of the ideological concept of that which who we think we are supposed to be, and actually turn our attention toward becoming who we truly want to be, happiness just happens. Happiness is a feeling evoked from deep within us. No effort is needed other than to be open to experience our truth through the wisdom of our body. We do not have to force it, manipulate it, purchase something for it or chase it down. We don’t have to play ‘rat on a wheel’ or ‘chase your tail’.
Happiness is an unconscious ‘felt sense’. We do not control our unconscious, but we can choose to become more aware of the subtle messages arising from our body and begin to align with a new way of being. It is a choice. Our life is just a manifestation of all our choices up this point. Happiness emerges as we align with our authentic self and our true nature. Who we are as individuals is undefined, unboxed, raw energy, and who we can become is unlimited possibility! When we move into alignment with our authentic self, our external physical reality, the mirror, begins to reflect back to us what we really want. This could be as simple as a warm smile from a loving friend. We do not chase happiness! We become happiness! What do you choose?
Begin Your Journey
Access 3 Chapters of Dr. Hofrath’s Ebook
“The Healing Power of Somatic Body Psychology”
Heal the Body, Heal the Soul
What is it that makes human beings so susceptible to the devastating effects of trauma?
In this pioneering ebook you’ll learn how to process, integrate and dissipate adverse traumatic memories and heal your soul for balance and alignment in body mind and spirit.
Somatic science evolved from observing how animals overcome traumatic events. Animals have the uncanny ability to dissipate adverse over-reactivity, emotional flooding, fear based behavior, rumination, shame and guilt from their consciousness. Despite frequently facing life threatening situations, animals can quickly return to their normal way of being without holding on to traumatic memories.