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Live The Unlived Life – Part 1

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Letting go of Attachment, Expectations, Projections and Limiting Belief Patterns

We do not chase happiness! We become happiness!  Our tight grip on attachments, expectations, and projections, all merge into a vortex of limiting belief patterns, and are often the root of all, or much, of our suffering and pain.  Often it is our strong “ego-based” attachment to our “ego-created” identity, which makes “letting go” of the concept of who we think we are supposed to become, and becoming who we know ourselves to be from an authentic perspective, so confusing, difficult, frustrating and painful.  This need for attachment is the root of much pain.  It is this illusive need that is often based on misperception, and unrealistic expectations, created by ourselves, or by others, which exasperates false projections regarding fear of loss, and all the old “no longer true stories” of who we think we are, or who we used to be, and what we think we want in life!

In this context we often base what we think we want in life on limited, unexplored beliefs, which results in perpetual dissatisfaction.  We constantly chase the illusive carrot by pursuing the next big thing, the next lover, contract, car or job, which we falsely believe will magically make us feel fulfilled and happy.  This constant need for more is much like living life like a rat on a wheel.  It is this never-ending cycle of huge peaks and valleys, versus just low rolling hills.  When we live our life in the past or future we miss out on the most important aspects of life. We miss out on the simplicity of life, all the small moments, which make life gratifying and fulfilling.  An authentic life can only be lived in the present moment, in all the little moments-in-between the moments.  All we have to do is be willing to slow down, listen to our inner voice, expand our awareness, expand our perception and be open to new ideas, truths and unlimited possibility.

When we allow our self to surrender to the idea, and experience, of infinite possibility; that is when our physical reality (which is only an external mirror reflecting back to us what our internal desires have manifested), can actually begin to reflect back all the unlimited possibilities through synchronicity, which will organically unfold in our physical day-to-day life.  I am referring to living “the un-lived” life.  The Un-Lived Life is the life you want to live, but have been too afraid to live!

Acceptance of our true self does not mean we must forsake all that we have thought our self to be.  This is a misconception many of us have been lead to believe through the definitions our world has provided.  More to the truth is that we must be willing to move into alignment with a path that is based on our truth, which is expansion versus reduction.  The only way to rid our selves of limiting belief patterns is to pause, take the time to be still, to listen and reconnect with our inner-world.  This is our authentic truth, which allows us to become aware of how our limiting belief patterns have not been based on actual truth, but rather on learned ways of being through the misperceptions of others.  

Limiting belief patterns are based on the old, handed down stories, projections and expectations of others who told us who we should become, which was in effect based on their own limiting belief systems.  The solution to this perpetual ‘rat on a wheel’ dilemma is to expand our consciousness and let go of all our limiting belief patterns, which no longer serve us to make space for our highest joy.  The goal is to become our true self, as best as we know how by acting our self into right action, which is always our greatest joy!  Self-discovery, and embodying our true essence does not have to be a complicated maze of confusion. Self-realization does not necessarily have to be excruciatingly painful or overly challenging.  However it often is, but only because we desperately fight to hold on to our attachments, expectations, projections, old stories and limiting belief patterns Individuation is as painful as we choose to make it!  The greater the resistance, the greater the pain!  Surrendering to the unknown and embracing the unknown are the primordial keys to pain free transformation.

We can start with simple steps.  If you have no overwhelming desire, project, self-concept, or career in mind, or even anything remotely close to that, you can just start with the present moment.  Start right now!  Start by following your highest joy on a moment-to-moment basis.   Authenticity entails nothing more than just living your honest truth, doing what brings you the most joy and pleasure in life, without explanation, defending your action to others, or listening to your inner-self critic.   If the idea of living your life in this way evokes resistance or seems like a completely unrealistic ideology in our modern world you are not alone. Welcome to the world of mediocrity and dedication to the unlived life filed with old stories and limiting belief patterns. Following your bliss is what life is supposed to be about. It is a human right and a choice! 

Following your excitement does not mean you should become irresponsible, unreliable, selfish, lack integrity, or become a slacker.  On the contrary it is the exact opposite!  Maybe, a personal journey of my own can clarify this construct of following your bliss?   My decision to spend 3-grueling years in graduate school to attain a doctorate in Somatic Depth Psychology, and then another 2-years writing a dissertation was neither logical nor rational, due to my age, the fact I already had a successful career and more importantly I had no clue what I would do with a Ph.D.  Pursuit of this path would require inconceivable sacrifices completely out of the scope of rational thought and my limited belief system.  

What prompted me to sacrifice an already established, successful and financially comfortable career, all the time, energy and well over two hundred thousand dollars on a PhD?   Why would I willingly read more books in an academic quarter than I had in my life? Why would I write countless research papers, clock numerous transformation hours, conduct fieldwork research in India and then spend 2-years writing a dissertation?  

Very simply because I was not happy living the unlived life!  It was not a choice! It was a calling! This was the only path I could choose.  After ignoring that tiny voice in my head for decades I finally paused, listened and chose to follow my excitement.  My life was never going to be complete, fulfilled, nor would I be happy until I silenced the voice from within.  

From a conscious, rational, perspective going back to school made no sense, but from a soul-based, intuitive perspective it made all the sense in the world.  I ignored the committee in my head, and my ego-based conscious, which never ceased to fill my thoughts with every possible reason why I couldn’t and shouldn’t even try.  For once I didn’t listen to the lie, I listened to my psyche and soul. I embraced an adventurous journey in to the unknown that was full of uncertainty and utterly devoid of logic.  Why, because I ran out of solutions.  I finally understood that my best thinking was my worst saboteur. Today, I live my joy, my bliss and my excitement!  I am more responsible, reliable, selfless, creative, spontaneous and possess the integrity of a true wise elder.  I am less judgmental and critical of others, and myself. Conversely, I am more empathetic, compassionate and loving.  Most importantly I feel more ALIVE now than I ever did in my previous life. I Am Living the Unlived Life!

Think about how much happier you could be if you acted on your joyful thoughts right now?  It is from this blissful place of following our excitement that we spontaneously implode with creativity, inspiration, motivation, and the drive to manifest whatever it is in our life, or in our heart, that is our greatest desire.  Be honest with yourself just for a moment.  Every moment of our lives presents us with new circumstances, opportunities and choices. We can choose to act on them or choose not to act on. What choice are you going to make?

Just pick one thing that offers you the highest level of excitement in this moment and do it to the best of your ability.  Do the same in the next moment and again, and again.  The truth is all we have, al that life is, are a series of moments. Every moment we don’t follow our greatest joy we lose forever. What out of all the options available to you right now is the option, or the opportunity, which instills the highest amount of excitement and joy for you?  After you have determined what this action is, do whatever action you are capable of taking at this time and take it far as you can to the best of your ability until you can take it no further.  Then ask yourself again; out of all the options available to me now what is the direction that contains the highest joy for me now?  Then follow that action to the best of your ability and just keep doing this for the rest of your life.

Excitement is the thread, which leads us to joy, contentment and a blissful life!  It is this energy that leads us to our authentic self and the unlived life.   It is not what we think we want, or what our conscious mind says we want, but what we really want that is important! To live in our truth, our authentic self and in our excitement each and every day requires trust, faith and courage!  These are three qualities many of us feel we do not possess, thus our actions are in direct opposition and often due to previous trauma, attachments, expectations and limiting belief patterns. To act on our greatest joy regardless of how ‘it’ looks, regardless of whether you think ‘it’ is connected to something you are supposed to be doing or not, regardless of the outward appearance of ‘it’, requires faith.  When I refer to ‘it’, I am referring to your unconscious desires, which in this culture is seen as less than and rarely given a voice.  I am referring to your ‘soul self’, your true essence and your truth.  

Discontent, fear, depression, anxiety and unhappiness are psyche’s way of informing us that our excitement, this thing we perceive as inferior or unworthy of our time, is really our path to freedom, happiness and self-realization. This voice represents what and who we really are, but have forgotten some where along the way.  By doing ‘it’ we make a statement to the universe of our conviction, and our desire, to become who we truly are and where always meant to be!  Once this manifestation is declared and more importantly lives within our self-talk and thoughts universal energy and law will happily support who we want to become, rather than supporting who we thought we were, or where told we should become.  This is how we manifest what we really want in our life!  This is how the law of attraction works and begins to govern our life. Our only responsibility is to have enough trust and faith to get out of our own way and follow our joy!

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